Welcome To Night Vale

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Evening Announcement:

It is with great pleasure that Night Vale High announces the introduction of real food with actual nutritional value in the canteens. This long overdue feature apparently did not exist before because of an official mishearing “school food tastes like cardboard.” As such, the traditional cardboard platter will no longer be available. We apologise for any inconvenience caused.

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Morning Announcement:

Unfortunately the Chemistry department has been destroyed in a freak accident. A class was harnessing the power of nuclear fusion when someone accidentally lifted the control rods and created a chain reaction. Luckily the radiation exposure to the city was minimal and the effects will not last long. Radiation levels will be back to the normal 3kSv/a in approximately 2 million years. 

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Evening Announcement:

The Mathematics and Statistics department have mysteriously lost a class. According to eyewitness accounts, the Teacher was halfway through an explanation of how given enough time anything is possible. Accounts say he was halfway through the sentence: “It’s true! If we had a million billion years it’s definitely possible. Even we could all just dis-“

Having asked Carlos’s advice on what happened, and whether the class would return we must unfortunately say it is unlikely to happen in the next trillion years. Our condolences to the families of those who were lost.

Filed under night vale night vale high school welcome to night vale wtnv nvhs

38 notes

Afternoon Announcement:

Night Vale High School is extremely pleased to announce that we have secured a new Head Teacher, after our last one was tragically killed in a misunderstanding with a Hooded Figure. Delores Umbridge, fresh from being Headmistress at another School, is happy to be starting at Night Vale High, and has many changes in mind that she feels would benefit the School greatly.

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